The screenshot above is an important line in the sand, during personal Warcraft history. That was the day I was carried through the Siege of Orgrimmar. Although raiding took place after that point, my heart was never really in it, truth that’s only now really registered. More importantly, there’s never been anybody since to play with the emotional depth of connection I had prior to this point. It hurts. So many people are missed, but in turn there’s relief so many others are gone for good.
Now that’s admitted, I can hopefully move on.
Ever since, Warcraft has just been a game. I play to relax, when stressed, looking for means by which personal satisfaction can be garnered. Every time I’ve got my hopes up there could be means by which to return to Azeroth with some personal connection, they’ve been dashed. Either it’s people with their own agendas, or others who simply don’t share the some enthusiasm you do.
Then there was that whole ‘Blizzard is not your family’ thing that happened, which broke the fourth wall for good. Having a total stranger tell you the truth is a good way to actually believe it, it’s why counselling was undoubtedly the best thing that has ever been done in my life in relation to self-improvement. The search for enlightenment, ultimately, will never happen in a virtual world…
… except, of course, it did. This game saved me from myself. Now, it is doing the same again, only differently.
It calls to me, every damn day, an insistent voice that tells me ‘that XP buff will only be about to January, don’t you dare waste it’ but before there’s the instant desire to log on, brain will stop me. Novel writing needs to happen first, then your chores, and after that I could really do with a proper plan going forward. So, today, we’re going to create a spreadsheet (whilst I eat lunch) to do just that.
If I must cheese everything to stay relevant, time is of the essence. There can’t be any fucking about trying to remember what needs to be done, it has to be written down before you log in. Which alts to chuck through AV, where their gear will come from at max level, which World Quests really matter in the scheme of things. Also, it will matter what time of day I do LFR and World Bosses as to the speed they will complete in.
There is no point in going about this half-arsed and unprepared.
One of my casual side plans for the holiday period is to redesign mogs for everybody so we go into 2020 looking as fierce as possible. Therefore, I’ve drawn a notional line in the sand: as many alts as I can to 120 before December 25th. I’m not fussed about them gearing or anything until 8.3 drops and I’ve played the Main Game for a while. For now, however, the other big issue is whether I move everybody off my server.
It’s the last psychological block I possess, having been brought there for reasons that typify why there’s no real emotional affinity to this game. If I do move and new desires in Azeroth return, then it’s a decent bet I could start feeling differently about other things too… but, do I want that? To be honest, I don’t know, and the amount of money we’re talking about is considerable. It is not essential to play as I am right now.
Those kinds of decisions can wait.
There are more important things to worry about than the past.
Time to look forward, and get working.